Darling, funny why just now you asked me that question on MSN. Honestly, I was going to tell you that on no account was I going to let you keep the baby or even if you had to give birth to him, give it to the dad but seeing that you love him so much, I guess I'll just have to learn to love him as my own child. I talked to my bros, they told me to take Kenneth as an adopted child, but seriously? When I know who the dad is? But as I promised to you before, I'll still take him as mine. All I need is you to give me abit more time to accept him. I'm really sorry, but sometimes late at night alone, I'll still think of the past. When I see our photos. Our videos. Our messages. And our Facebook posts.Think of what we used to do, how we used to go out together till late. I miss it. I really miss those times. From the start till the end. From the time we stead, to the times you dropped your "bombs", to the time I first cooked for you, to the time you told me about your past, to the time I was filled with revenge for what was done to you, to the time you slept with brendon, to the time where things became sweet and loving and intimate, and to now when you become a mum. I missed alot of first times with you. Yes, you're my first girl. I gave you my first kiss, my first intimate hug, my first intimacy, but lost out on being the first to make you feel really loved and first to have a child with you. Two major first times, and I lost out on that.
I know I promised you that I'll be strong. I will. I just want to let you know that no matter what, laogong will still love you and support you and be always there for you when you need him. For you, I will be strong. And won't always start thinking of the past. I know it's hard, I put on a fake front to show that I'm fine but I'm not. I miss you. I worry about you. I'm scared to lose you. And everytime you start to think wildly, I get more worried and think more worse things than you do. I just really love you alot and honestly, feel so unfair that you are in this situation. Yes, I did think of asking Brendon to take the kid but after tonight's talk I realised you really loved the kid alot, and as much as I want you to be the girl I once knew, I can't bear to take the baby away from you. Our plan, I hope it really works. I'm just missing you terribly. When can you be mine again? You say 6 months time. I don't mind waiting. But really, will you have more time for me? I know you're tired. Deep inside you, you still want so much for the past to come back. So do I. Maybe even more than you. But what's done is already done. You made a mistake. I made a mistake. This is the price to pay.
If only I could turn back time, but it's already too late for regrets.
So from today on, I won't think about the past anymore. It's gone forever. From this moment on, I'll just love you with all my heart and give you the best love, care, guidance and support you can ever get from a guy. I'm still here, running the final 100m of the race with you. The finish line is just ahead. Don't lose hope. Be strong. You've already come so far. Don't give up. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on me.
I still love you so much, darling. You'll always be the one and only irreplacable baby princess in Max Loo's heart. I mean it. Love you. Muacks :)
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