About me
I was born in Indonesia, May 20th, 1992. That was when my parents were having their honeymoon and I came out into this world. My birth was a joy to my parents who had been hoping for a son and soon after, my parents brought me back to Hong Kong and my relatives flocked around me, all commenting on how cute I was and predicting that I would have a bright future and all the nonsense just to get into my parent's good books.We were rich at that time and everyone wanted to get close to us to share the glory and limelight. My sis came into my life the next year and soon after, my dad took his business to Singapore and we migrated over here where I found myself in a whole new environment. My paternal grandmother bought a house at Ming Teck Park for my dad and we hired a domestic helper. She was a fantastic person, while living with us, she learned to speak Chinese, watched chinese shows with us and even learnt abit of Cantonese from my mum. When my parents went out, she would watch the chinese shows on their behalf and when they returned, tell them what happened in that night's episodes. Sadly, after 3 years, she left us and returned to Jakarta and we employed another domestic helper. We also shifted house to Toh Tuck Crescent. A change of environment was a new experience for me and it was the first time my parents let me and my own room and sleep alone. It was exciting. That time, my dad's business was prospering and he bought himself a Mercedes. The number plate, if I didn't remember wrongly, was SBH 7851 H. We also went on a tour to United Kingdom to visit an aunt who migrated there. After that, we went on to France and Switzerland. It was a great trip but me being young at that time, I didn't really remember much. However, sadly, that house wasn't exactly 'clean'. Apparently, both my parents and the domestic helper swore they had seen, at the corner of their eye, 'something'. They also felt that they were being watched or followed whenever they used the stairs. Anyways, we stayed there till I had finished Kindergarten at Thompson Road Baptist Kindegarten. Also, I was a buddhist before that but after joining the Kindergarten, I became a Christian. Also, that time, it was the ecomomical crisis of 1997 and stock prices were falling everywhere. My dad burnt his hands in the stock and had to recoup his losses. He sold the house to another family at a price of $890 000, a great deal considering housing prices for that time were sky high and it was fully furnished. We found our new home at Symphony Heights, #03-08. It was the first time I stayed in a condominium, as I had always stayed in private properties. Then somehow, I couldn't remeber the details clearly but business wasn't good and the company went bankrupt. The banks that used to court my dad suddenly sensed things were amiss and started chasing him for their money back. We totalled up a debt of half a million. It was disaster. Things had to change. The condo had to go. The car had to go. All the extra classes cancelled. No more dining at restaurants on weekends. My dad had to go and work for someone else. My happy and secure world suddenly had a big whole ripped through it. On the last night before we shifted house, I didn't sleep. I lay awake and stared out as the torrential rain lashed mercilessly against the large windows. I was dry inside but deep down, I felt like the weather outside. I felt myself falling into a bottomless pit, with the weight of the entire ocean crushing down on me. I didn't know how long I stayed awake, but soon I felt myself drifting into a dreamless sleep.
Life was a nightmare. We shifted into a 4 room HBD at Dover Road, one of the primary reasons being that it was just across Anglo Chinese School (Independent), a school that my parents wished I would go to after finishing my primary schooling at Angle Chinese School (Junior). Also, they hoped that I could go into Anglo Chinese Junior College (ACJC) which was also located at Dover. They had planned out everything for me. Everything they did, they always took me into consideration. But things, unfortunately didn't turn out that way. After experiencing such a drastic change in my life, I felt tired of everything. I didn;t see the point of studying anymore. From a top student in my primary school, my results dropped drastically and I ended up in the lower end classes. However, my teacher was a great man, he kept encouraging us not to give up on ourselves, and in the end, 11 people in the class got a cut off point of 235 and made it to ACS Independent, a great acheivement taking into consideration that this was a lower end class. However, I was not one of the 11. My PSLE agregate was a terrible 197. By the Grace of God, I was accepted into the other brother school, Anglo Chinese School (Barker Road). Everything was okay in the start but gradually, I lost interest in studying and hope in Life and in Sec 3, I was transferred to a Normal Acad stream. I made new friends. And these guys were really cool. With them, I always came late and walked into the class as though we owned the place. We ate and drank and played PSP during lesson times. We went for extended recess periods. We used vulgarities like no ones business and no one dared to stop us. It was cool. For once, I felt alive again. On weekends, we would go to Karaoke ventures, arcade centres, LAN shops and it was then I met Jake. He was everything I wanted to be. Cool, handsome, rich, and with a group of guys following him. I made friends with him and it was then I started smoking, drinking, getting into fights and returning home late at night. My grades in school went from bad to worse. And when repeated warnings, scoldings and house visits did nothing to change me, my teachers gave up. But my parents perservered. They believed I was still the boy I used to be. Then I got into a gang fight at Dhoby Ghaut and it became a police case. I would always remember the devastated look on my dad's face went he to pick me up at the police station. He never said a word to me on the way back home and from that day onwards, they gave up on me. And it was then also, I gave up on myself. My life consisted of my brothers, the arcades, pool, karaoke, movies, smoking, fights and vulgarities. Life sucked. Then my paternal grandmother passed away. It was the first time I saw my dad cry. "Ma! Ma!" This scene would be etched forever in my memory. And after that, my dad's life just consisted of Work, home. Work, home. My parents always quarrelled over money matters. And I would shut the door and blast music into my ears or go out with my brothers. At the end of Secondary school, I went to ITE. And that was it. That was my life. Fucked up. Then when I was 17. I met this girl. Queeny Koh Xin Wen. She was kind, helpful, caring. Everything I used to be in the past. After some time, we got together and became a couple. It was happy, it was fun. She was the only person I ever fell so crazy about. Because of her, I turned down my brothers. She didn't like me to be a gangster and go fighting cos it made her worry, I agreed. I talked to Jake. Then I left the gang. I loved life with her. It was so happy, so innocent. So nice. No more fighting, smoking and all the bad things from my past. She told me about her past too. We shared stories whenever we went out and talked about past experiences while laying down at looking at stars in the night sky on the roof of Vivocity. My life was perfect. Then the first bombshell came when she told me that she had done something wrong with another friend. I wasn't mad went I heard this. Well, we all make mistakes. To err is Human, to forgive is Divine. So I forgave her and forgot about this incident. I didn;t hold any grudges against that guy as it wasn't completely his fault. Yes, I was abit mad at him and was tempted to call upon Jake to teach him a lesson, but Queeny persuaded me and made me promise not to. So I didn't. It was partly my fault anyway, being my first time in love, I probably didn't show her enough love while the other guy cared alot about her. So I decided to improve. I made changes. And during Christmas, I bought her her dream present. The 32gb iTouch. The money was saved for my driving license but I decided that she was more important and didn't hesitate to get it for her. She was so happy and deep inside, I felt super happy too. Over time, our love grew stronger and stronger and I felt that nothing could tear us apart until she committed the same mistake again. I actaully expected it. I could tell by the guilt in her voice that gave her away. So I called two of my best friends down with me. And this time, I saw it personally with my eyes. I didn't know what stopped me from pulling out the knife from my back pocket and stabbing it into the guy but I supposed I was just too hurt to do anything. Really wonder how did she feel when she touched him and knowing that I trust her. And did she think of me when he fucked her. I didn't know. I was devastated. Later that night, we talked about it and I again gave her another chance. Jake laughed at me, calling me a 'fucking stupid asshole' but I didn't care. I loved her and was willing to give her another chance again and didn't care what others thought. During our half month anniversary, I bought her a custom made necklace with our picture engraved on it, as I hoped she would always think of me whenever she wore it. I loved to see her wear it. Then came my 18th birthday and we celebrated it together with my parents. We then went for a movie afterwards and the rest is history. I really just love her so much. Then last night, we quarrelled again. And it was probably the most emotional quarrel I ever got into. I spilled out everything. I couldn't contain it anymore. I wanted to let her know how much she meant to me, and how much I loved her. I hugged her and cried. I didn't care if others were looking at me. I just cried. Later that night I didn't sleep. I just couldn't. I kept thinking of her. And missing her. And I wondered if she was thinking of me. To be continued....
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