" I will take care of myself. No need worry. You also take care. Dun sms le k."
Do you just know how much I want to give you a smack on your head everytime you say this. It's stupid, it pisses me off, and it fucking hurts. Damn. Why do we always get into misunderstandings over the smallest things? And I thought we promised not to quarrel again. Yeah, right. I knew it would happen again. No r/s can survive without quarrels. They're part and parcel of relationships. We have to get hurt, get mad at each other before we know how to love each other more. Funny right? But that's how things work. Hais. I really miss you so much. I want to hug you. And say 'i love you' into your ear. But I can't bring myself to do it. Sometimes, I just feel I'm a failure as your boyfriend. My job was to love you, care for you, make you happy and forget your past, and protect you from being hurt again. Oh well. I practically failed at everything. Yes everything. I mean, who fails at sex too? It's supposed to be easy for everyone but why whenever we get intimate I just can't do it? We tried 3 times, and failed each and every time. To love you and care for you, I somehow think there's still a missing space somewhere, it's just that I don't know where. Make you happy and forget your past, don't think I succeeded in that as well cos apparently, you just can't forget him. Protect you from being hurt, oh well, not sure about that. What the fuck man.....it's just not going the way I wanted it to. It's 8 more days to our 8 month anniversary. Why do we always have to quarrel a few days before our anniversary? Sigh.......everytime we quarrel, the pillars of love we built start coming down again and I have to rebuilt them, only to watch them crumble again in God knows when. I'm tired. I just hope we can build this pillar of love that is so strong that nothing will break it. And I really want to. And all the love quotes you post on your fb, I really just hope you meant it. I probably am feeling abit sad now, (and it's not helping that my fucking nose is bleeding cos I ate an entire bar of Cadbury last night) but still, my mind is only thinking of you. Are you thinking of me? I hope so.
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