READ THIS : FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL

I just really don't give a fuck how much time you are going to leave for me or how damn long I have to wait before things can go back to the way the were. Seriously. We've already been through so much, nothing can tear us apart. So stop being emo. Yes, I know you have Post Natal Blues, and depression or whatever, but that's no excuse for being childish and immature and selfish. You think you're the only person suffering? How about your family? Or best yet, how about me? I've come so far with you, holding on to you, loving you no matter what happened....before you do any damn stupid thing, think about me first. And whatever you do, all your hating this and that, it's NOT helping anything. You're just making things worse. So for God's sake, LISTEN TO ME for once and TRUST ME. STOP thinking I'll run away with some other girl...SERIOUSLY !!!

Drawing Day :)

Felt abit unwell today and vomitted abit, after that I went to rest somemore before getting up at 11 and going to Clementi for Mac. Yes, I'm not well and I eat Mac. How smart of me. Went home and chatted with my darling awhile on MSN before I started up on finishing the work for Gu Gu. Did alot of sketches, drafts and got my entire hand black with pencil lead for about 5 hours. Wahaha. After that, I posted a few samples of my work on Facebook and had my friends comment on it before my parents returned from work and we went out for dinner at Orchard. Returned home at 11 and am super tired and I have stupid extra lessons in school tmr....zzzzzzzzzzz =.=
Anyways, gonna go sleep alr...super worn out today....nites laopo...I love you so much...muacks :)

Happy Holidays :)

Woke up at 7 plus this morning cos I couldn't sleep for no apparent reason. Went for a nice long bathe before packing the drawing samples for the "Thank You" card into my file and taking the bus down to AMK for breakfast. Initially wanted to have a nice hot plate of carrot cake but the store didn't open today so I went to BreadTalk to buy a bread to eat. After that I took the bus to Compass and walked over to Gu Gu's house. Reached at about 11. Showed her the drawings and happily, my darling loved it. HINT DARLING : your birthday present's going to be something like that :)
We talked about Gu Gu's new job, and laughed at how I imagined she would screw up the programmes and my darling only made matters worse by telling me she was going to do sales in the near future. I took another few minutes to explain just how not-so-easy sales would be and we laughed about it again. Then the baby cried and it was breastfeeding time, and as usual, he decided to poo just after that and we had to change his diapers. Happily for us though, the baby was not in the urine squirting mood today ( did I mention he tried to shoot me twice with his urine but failed at both attempts? ) and everything went smotthly. Started to get hungry at 2 and decided that taking a short hibernation nap would cure it and it did, temporarily. Got hungry again half an hour after waking up. Stayed till about 5 before leaving. Bought myself a nice cold bottle of Season's Ice Lemon Tea ( darling, don't get jealous ) and wanted to grab a bite at either Mac or LJS but both were rather full, so I decided that the food would have to wait till Thursday after my extra lessons. Took the train home and fell asleep on it, but luckily didn't oversleep. Went home to find that my mum was still at work so I went over to her workplace and waited for her. Now at home talking to my darling in MSN.
Darling, thanks for today :) Love you so much, dear. Muacks <3

Short post to my silly darling

Darling baby, seeing how well you adjust to having this baby in your Life makes me not so worried, even relieved to a certain extent that you have come to face reality and I really am proud of you for being such a strong person. Honestly, if it were me, I really wouldn't be able to take it. yes, your aunt and mum tell me you think too much at times and get overly emotional over certain things but I can understand. Having been through so much, it is definitely natural to undergo certain scares and uncertainty. But of course, I will reward you for being such a strong girl. I promise that no matter what, you can always turn to me for help as I will always be there for you. Don't be afraid that I will leave one day. My love to you remains strong and steadfast. I've made this desicion to be with you even when I had all the chance and the right reasons to leave and I won't regret. Trust me laopo. My hand only wants to hold your hand. My lips only want to kiss your lips. My ****** only wants to enter your ******. oops censored..but you got my meaning, I'm sure. Silly darling. Anything just talk to laogong k. Laogong can be trusted with your secrets and everything else that you don't want others to know. Jiayous k. 2 more weeks to going out with you and 1 month plus to our 1 year anniversary :) Gambatte :) Wo ai ni laopo :) Muacks <3

I never can't accept him. I just worry for you. Worry you can't take it by yourself. Worry you anyhow think and do silly things. You are the most important in my heart. How will I ever bear to leave you. But why do you always see the negative side of things. All along, you never trusted me enough to tell me everything about you that's why you end up in this situation yourself. Blame no one. You brought this upon yourself. What I'm trying to do for you now is try to release you from everything that binds you down. I want you to break free and open up yourself to me. Tell me what's on your mind, what you want to do, what you want to know. Everything. Be the girl I once knew again. Please. Talk to me. Don't give me your emo shit and leave me wondering and worrying about you. I love you darling. Hold on to me, never let me go.

Random post on current events

Darling, funny why just now you asked me that question on MSN. Honestly, I was going to tell you that on no account was I going to let you keep the baby or even if you had to give birth to him, give it to the dad but seeing that you love him so much, I guess I'll just have to learn to love him as my own child. I talked to my bros, they told me to take Kenneth as an adopted child, but seriously? When I know who the dad is? But as I promised to you before, I'll still take him as mine. All I need is you to give me abit more time to accept him. I'm really sorry, but sometimes late at night alone, I'll still think of the past. When I see our photos. Our videos. Our messages. And our Facebook posts.Think of what we used to do, how we used to go out together till late. I miss it. I really miss those times. From the start till the end. From the time we stead, to the times you dropped your "bombs", to the time I first cooked for you, to the time you told me about your past, to the time I was filled with revenge for what was done to you, to the time you slept with brendon, to the time where things became sweet and loving and intimate, and to now when you become a mum. I missed alot of first times with you. Yes, you're my first girl. I gave you my first kiss, my first intimate hug, my first intimacy, but lost out on being the first to make you feel really loved and first to have a child with you. Two major first times, and I lost out on that.
I know I promised you that I'll be strong. I will. I just want to let you know that no matter what, laogong will still love you and support you and be always there for you when you need him. For you, I will be strong. And won't always start thinking of the past. I know it's hard, I put on a fake front to show that I'm fine but I'm not. I miss you. I worry about you. I'm scared to lose you. And everytime you start to think wildly, I get more worried and think more worse things than you do. I just really love you alot and honestly, feel so unfair that you are in this situation. Yes, I did think of asking Brendon to take the kid but after tonight's talk I realised you really loved the kid alot, and as much as I want you to be the girl I once knew, I can't bear to take the baby away from you. Our plan, I hope it really works. I'm just missing you terribly. When can you be mine again? You say 6 months time. I don't mind waiting. But really, will you have more time for me? I know you're tired. Deep inside you, you still want so much for the past to come back. So do I. Maybe even more than you. But what's done is already done. You made a mistake. I made a mistake. This is the price to pay.
If only I could turn back time, but it's already too late for regrets.
So from today on, I won't think about the past anymore. It's gone forever. From this moment on, I'll just love you with all my heart and give you the best love, care, guidance and support you can ever get from a guy. I'm still here, running the final 100m of the race with you. The finish line is just ahead. Don't lose hope. Be strong. You've already come so far. Don't give up. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on me.
I still love you so much, darling. You'll always be the one and only irreplacable baby princess in Max Loo's heart. I mean it. Love you. Muacks :)

Gu Gu overcomes P.N.Blue with Yang Guo's help

No no, P.N Blue is not another new Korean boyband nor do they have any similarities to C.N Blue. P.N Blue is Post Natal Blue, a symptom of depression that most women suffer from after birth. And Gu Gu, like everyone else, has abit of it. Luckily, with my help and encouragement, we sat down today and have a nice quiet, emotional, good talk and everything turned out smoothly. Thanks laopo for holding on and still being so strong. Just want you to know, no matter what happens, just feel free to talk to laogong k? We'll solve the problem together, like we always used to do in the past. I will always be there for you no matter what, holding your hand and walking with you till the end. Even though you may find yourself in a changed environment, one thing is for sure, laogong's love to you will never change yea.
Jiayous k darling laopo. I love you so so much. Muack muack :)