I was supposed to meet laopo today, but last min my parents want me to go with them to lawyer office to get grandmum will. Didn't want to go and quarrel with them. Then walked out of the house. Wanted to meet her but I didn't know what to tell her cos I didn't have the camera with me. Didn't want to disappoint her also. Really don't know what to do. I just went about with nowhere in mind. Ended up outside KK. Sat there for awhile before I went inside to walk. Don't know why I felt sad. Felt the crushing pain as though I had lost someone I loved. And I realised, I actually did. I got out of the place and walked. Ended up at Dhoby. Bought a beer and sat there and drink alone. I looked at the couples walking by. I was once like them. I walked abit more and ended up at bugis. I took a cab back. Tired. Exhausted. my mind no longer controls my hand...today was supposed to be happy but my stupid parents spoiled it...I saw her fb..she changed her status to something else other than married..are we really different? is it really just me left fighting against Fate..if so, than it's no point fighting anymore...I don't know...I'm tired...FBR..I no longer have any interest nor strength to run it...maybe i will close it..it's costing too much money to run..hais...everything in my life never works out well...baby queeny, you were the best thing that happened in my life..just so you know...i nvr blamed you for the baby..because i love you and no matter what you do, you will nvr appear wrong to me..gdnite. I love you wife.

Seeing Forever in your eyes.

Open up your heart to me and say what’s on your mind, I know that we have been through so much pain, but I still need you in my life. No matter what, let's stick together and be strong and there's nothing that can be overcome. I really need you right now. I know deep within my heart that it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right, I just really need you beside.
You need me like I need you. Together we can share our dreams coming true. Just let me show you what true love means, because in this Life, I'll be the only one to hold you and make sure that you'll be alright. After all that we've been through, I know we can win this. And I'm never going to lose to emptiness and let you go again. I figured what to say to you, and I know in time that you'll understand.
Cause deep within my heart, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or right. Baby, all I know is that I see Forever in your eyes. <3

A special post to my wifey Queeny Koh

Today, this post is going to be special. I'm not going to post about how we spent time going out, how we enjoyed each other's company or whatever. Today, it's just going to be a nice, long post to my beloved wifey Queeny Koh. Baby, I'm going to hold you tight and no matter what comes our way, I'm never letting you go.

From the start, let's be honest, I never liked you having the baby. I hated whenever you seemed to give him more attention than me. I got jealous, but you can't blame me. I'm selfish by nature. I wanted you for myself, I never liked sharing. Even your blog post that time about choosing him over me made me sad. And yes, I admit my love did start to get lesser because to me, I never really felt happy anymore after that post. I very much loved the old Queeny and wanted her to come back to life but I know this was impossible. I cried. I hated alot of people for taking the girl I loved away from me and putting someone else in her place. I never planned that my first relationship would be so fucked up and make me undergo so much pain and hurt to the extent that death would be a better option.

But still I loved you. Even though after you had the baby, my feelings to you were more of sympathy than empathy. Yes, things went up and down for us. There were good times and bad times. I still perservered because I loved you. But I never could accept the kid. Than the latest quarrel when I was so adamant about you favouring the kid over me that I wanted to break up. I was serious then, and despite still having feelings for you, I never wanted to be second place and forced myself to be cold towards your pleas. The next day I disappeared and went about walking by myself. For no reason, I dropped by my church and went to look for my pastor to chat over a cup of coffee at the cafe of the church. I told him about the incident and he listened without making any comments. After I was done, he looked at me and asked me, 'So Max, do you love her?'
I replied that I did. And he replied with something that somehow enlightened me.
'If you can't accept her kid, you don't really love her at all. For if you love someone, you accept everything about them. Their good and their bad. The nice and the ugly. You must remember that no one was created perfect because God was so great, He made us imperfect that only through Love could we see the perfections in another's imperfections. That is the meaning of true Love."
And I thought it through. On the way home in the cab, his words kept ringing in my head. And finally, I learnt to see through my own selfishness and foolishness and start to really accept you for the person you are, and not the person you were. And I made up my mind to do the right thing. To give you a family filled with love and warmth. And I would make this happen, because I really do love you.

For you I’d just be there. Someone to talk to, share things with, confide in…someone to ask you how your day was and you’d be comfortable enough to share, without fear of ridicule or disinterest. Someone to cuddle with and share intimate moments with, someone you will always feel safe with. We can play together, laugh together, and cry together. Know when you want to be alone and when you want someone to hold you close. Understand your limits and know where to draw the line. Know your friends and accept them all as my friends. I would trust you and be trustworthy enough for you. You will have no fears with me, live dangerously and make everyday an adventure. Live life and love it, have no regrets. Be alone and never be lonely. Passion kindness, honesty, happiness, sincerity and respect will be everyday words. Hatred, sadness, contempt and hypocrisy will never come about. A million people in the world and I only have eyes for you. Wear your emotions on your sleeves and I will care for them as my own. Give me a smile and I will give you my whole. Be there for me and I’ll be there for you a thousand times over.

I love you baby, I really do. Give me this chance to let you feel loved and give you something you always wished for. A complete family. Welcome me with open arms dear, cos your hubby is back. :)

Very Happy SATURDAY :)

Had a very happy Saturday with my laopo. Met her at her house cause no one was home and she had to look after the neighbour's kid. We also did something sweet :) After that, we went to take bus to Woodlands and than to take train to Choa Chu Kang to pass things to her customer before we went off. We also had a hard time deciding bringing Ken to the baby swim at either Vivo or Nex Mall. In the end, we rushed up the train and went to Nex because number 1, we were in a rush, and number two, Nex had a 7 11 where I could buy my coffee milk :) Reached there and had some "Koh" jokes :x and when we reached 7 11, we realised there wasn't any cofee milk! So I went for an alternative instead. Walked around and went to eat at the food court. Realised my laopo recently have a liking for 'xiao long bao' . Silly china woman lol :x After that, I went to toilet and laopo went to feed Ken. I took this opportunity to buy Beard Papa Cream Puffs for her and buy my Tiramisu. Didn't eat yet and we took the train back to Bishan to take the train to Newton and laopo tot we went on the wrong train cos the display was wrong. Reached Newton and waited awhile for her customer to arrive. Played with Ken and he happily dropped my phone on the floor lol. After that we took the train to dhoby and went to CSM to pass things to Shaun and eat our things. Wanted to take Neoprint but machine spoilt. So therefore, laopo decided to lay her ball games while I went to Popular to read Russell Lee's new book. She came out shortly after and we took train back to SK. Happily, I found my coffee milk at the 7 11 there. Walked home with laopo and after that went home to online with her.
Thanks for the happy day baby :) Wo ai ni muackx <3

Sweet Saturday

Had a rather happy day yesterday :) Laopo went to her grandmum house again ( as usual ) and I helped her send things to her customers at CCK. After that, I went out awhile with my police buddy to walk about and makan at Hougang Point. After that laopo msg me so I took 159 over and met her and passed her the dvd that she left behind in the bag for the customer. After that we took 74 and change 88 to go to her house. Then we did something sweet and nice :x After that her customer came so we had to stop. Than we went Compass for dinner and made a cake for my dad :) After taht we walked home and sang song together :) So sweet :) Haha. Love spending nice and sweet time with my laopo. Muacks :) Wo ai ni

Sweet night with my laopo :)

Met with my baby at about 7 at Bishan interchange. Supposed to be earlier but my clever piggy say mrt interchange and resulted in abit of a misunderstanding which also resulted in a major miscommunication which ended up in a gigantic miuse of time. LOL. Took the train to Serangoon then to Farrer Park to go CSM to eat. Don't want to let my piggy walk infront of me so I take her hand and hold tight and walk together with her :)
After that we went to transfer money to some supplier. Laopo not enough ( as usual ) so used mine to transfer. After that we went to Swensens to eat and had a very nice dinner and after that go TX to top up card and play. Had alot of fun taking Neoprint with piggy laopo. After we were done, we go buy bread than also bought a bread that my laopo like to eat. Last one left to eat le! Haha. Then we take train back to SK ( dun knw why all of a sudden in the train my laopo become horny :x)  and I walk laopo back after we reach SK. So long we both nvr walk back le. So happy. Love the night :)
Thanks laopo :) Muack wo ai ni <3

Happy surprise saturday :)

Had a super fun Saturday with my baby :) Went around to collect and deliever things with her as usual. Then when we were going to Woodlands to pass some thing to the buyer, my silly baby suddenly surprise me by saying she had booked 2 tickets to watch X Men with me later. So happy haha :) After everything, we took a train back down to Bishan to catch the movie...it was super cool and after that went to take cab ( very sweet with my laopo ) to take Ken's food before dropping my baby off at her popo hse before I went for dinner with my police buddy. And then went home to MSN with my baby laopo :) Thanks darling for such a great day! I love you :) Muack <3